Deserved Love

I'm sitting down to write something, but I have nothing to say in the sense of conveying a message.  I have nothing to say, because I have too much to think about.  So here I will think, but not say.

What's been on my mind is this phrase, "We accept the love we think we deserve."  That phrase resonates with me.  Whenever I went to assess the odds of crushes I had throughout my life, I would analyze if I was "falling up" or "falling down."  Were they cooler then me?  Were they popular?  Were they smart?  If so, I was probably falling for someone on a higher social level than me.  I was falling up.

I don't think I ever dated anyone for whom I thought I was "falling up."  I wouldn't have had the guts to ask them out.  I also don't think they would have ever been interested in me.  They were clearly on the "off limits" shelf.

I tend to date people who I find on my own shelf.  We were equals.  I "deserved" their love, and they "deserved" mine.  It made me comfortable.  I didn't feel like I had much to earn in the relationship because I deserved it.  I'm just reporting my broken thoughts-I cannot and will not defend them.

But is this the way relationships ought to be framed?  Is this the way people ought to be framed?  Are they to be placed on shelves and categorized as higher, lower, or middle?  Also concerning is the question of 'earning' and 'deserving.'  Can we really "earn" or "deserve" another's love?  When I chose people who were on my shelf (in my mind), I chose them because it meant that I didn't have to better myself to earn anything.  Can love be "earned"?  How does one earn it?  Is it through the same shallow process of changing our stars (climbing the social shelves?).  Is it still love if its something earned?  I like to think of real, true love as something unconditional.  It cannot be earned.  But that's how I like to think of it.  How is it really?